I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
