Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You can't motorboat a personality
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
