He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
