so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
