I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
