It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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