i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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