I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
