is wine microwaveable?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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