maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
