Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
