i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
