He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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