nut hugger
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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