the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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