Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
they're like a gay fantastic four
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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