If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
