Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
