the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You took a bar mat shot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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