I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
