Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Every concussion has its silver lining
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
