I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize