ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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