He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Two words: blizzard sex
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
