i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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