I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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