Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
