Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
porn star boner night. come get it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm both gender and math confused
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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