she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
