I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
