You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she told me i tasted like america
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
