I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
