She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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