so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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