Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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