So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
