I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
