wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize