GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
