idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
