I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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