i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
