Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
