3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize