you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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