Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
