Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
