Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You pole danced in your parka.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize