Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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