I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
