There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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