Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
