soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
