That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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