We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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