Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
